Elisabeth Elliot, a renowned Christian missionary, author, and speaker, left an enduring legacy through her writings and life. One of her most poignant quotes, often cited in discussions on love, challenges our conventional understanding: "Love isn't a feeling, it's a commitment." This seemingly simple statement unpacks a profound truth about the nature of love, especially in the context of enduring relationships and unwavering faith. Let's delve deeper into this powerful assertion and explore what it truly means.
What Does Elisabeth Elliot Mean by "Love Isn't a Feeling, It's a Commitment"?
Elliot's words directly confront the common misconception that love is solely an emotion, a fleeting feeling dependent on circumstances and personal happiness. She argues that true love transcends the rollercoaster of feelings; it's a conscious choice, a steadfast decision to prioritize the well-being of another, regardless of personal emotional state. Imagine a ship navigating stormy seas; the feeling might be fear and uncertainty, but the commitment to reaching the destination remains unwavering. That's the essence of Elliot's perspective on love.
Is Love Only a Commitment, Then? What About Feelings?
While Elliot emphasizes commitment as the bedrock of love, she doesn't dismiss the importance of feelings entirely. Rather, she places them in a proper context. Feelings are natural responses, the emotional ebb and flow of a relationship. However, relying solely on feelings for the definition of love is precarious. Feelings are fickle; they change with time, circumstances, and even our moods. Commitment, on the other hand, provides stability and a foundation upon which genuine love can thrive. It’s the anchor that keeps the ship steady amidst the emotional storms.
How Does This Relate to Christian Faith?
Elliot's perspective is deeply rooted in her Christian faith. In the Christian worldview, love is often depicted as an act of selfless service, mirroring God's unconditional love for humanity. This kind of love isn't contingent on reciprocation or positive feelings. It's a commitment to act with grace, kindness, and forgiveness, even when it's challenging or uncomfortable. This echoes the commitment of a marriage vow, "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health," which underscores the enduring nature of true love.
What Does This Mean in Everyday Relationships?
This principle applies to all types of relationships – romantic partnerships, familial bonds, and friendships. In a marriage, for instance, commitment means working through disagreements, supporting each other through difficulties, and prioritizing the relationship even when feelings wane. In friendships, it means offering support, understanding, and forgiveness when mistakes are made. The core idea is that true love involves actively choosing to nurture the relationship, even when it's not easy.
How Can We Cultivate This Kind of Committed Love?
Cultivating committed love requires conscious effort and intentional actions. It demands prioritizing the other person's needs, showing empathy and understanding, and actively working to resolve conflicts. It also necessitates self-awareness, allowing us to recognize our own emotional responses and how they might impact the relationship. Consistent communication, honest expression of feelings, and a willingness to compromise are all essential elements in fostering a committed and lasting love.
In conclusion, Elisabeth Elliot's quote offers a profound and timeless perspective on love. By emphasizing commitment as the foundation, she challenges us to move beyond a superficial understanding and embrace a deeper, more enduring definition of love that transcends the fickle nature of feelings. It’s a call to action, a challenge to choose love, day in and day out, regardless of how we feel.
